The only thing I could do is to do what I could do in due course
and if I could do it better
I should do what I should do in due course
Don't be frustrated
It is a such common reaction
feeling insecure when in a new mode 
no matter a thing goes right or wrong

The slow action is caused by the uncertainty about myself
it is hard to get myself to do something I should do
I could feel the unwillingness in my skeleton
and no wisdom to define the current situation, even simply to say good or bad
sometime people would have no courage to let others think you are living well
so weird, what people are frightening is a question
but no matter what circumstance I am in
no matter how much grumble I make out
I still believe I am in a good position compared with the past
and that is the only way I could live with